Grief, What Is It? How do I do it?

How do I grieve? What does grief look like? These are some of the questions I asked myself.

My father’s passing really made me re-think life. This life-changing event shook me to the very core that it made me question who I am and who I am becoming.

Then there are the different emotions I went through that seemed more like phases rather than simple feelings. When asked what is grief, I used to relate it to sadness. However, I found out it was so much more.

Grief, in my experience, is a complex state when I felt a multitude of emotions, such as sadness, anger, denial, and regret, as I long for someone who is no longer present in my life. I also went through the pains of letting go and unbecoming the person I was when a certain person was still present. It pushed me beyond what was once my comfort zone.

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Back After Almost A Year

And so I am back….after almost a year.

What happened? A lot.

2018 was a real game-changer for me, including my personal and professional life.

I started 2018 mourning, for my maternal grandmother and as a make-up instructor in a school, I have loved so much.

Little did I know that these two incidents were just a start of a year in grief.

For those who have lost a loved one, they say it is never easy. And it’s true.

Coming home suddenly feels different, it almost feels like a different house. And yet, everything seems so familiar, but something is missing and I can’t quite put a finger in it. And then it hits me, SOMEONE is missing.

I can only try to describe it, but it is just beyond words. And then, there is grieving for a career linked to my passion. I didn’t only say goodbye to the work, but also to my passion for make-up and to the people I worked with.

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